For The Halibut

Jordan* and I met online.  Meeting people online does have its benefits.  It’s like an immediate background check.  No kids, never been married before, doesn’t smoke cigarettes… check, check, check. Seemed to meet all the important criteria.

And from the conversation back and forth, he seemed like a super nice, genuine guy, so I thought I would give it a shot.

I agreed to have dinner with him one night and I suggested that we try this new sushi place a few blocks from my house. Dinner was awesome and he was full of witty conversation that kept me on my toes the entire night- which I loved!

He wasn’t the quite type, but I noticed that conversation had drifted off and he was being less responsive.  “Was it me?!  Was it something I said?  Maybe I have food on my face?!”  I did a quick, nonchalant sweep across my lips with my napkin.   “Nope, we’re good.”

All of the sudden he excused himself and bee lined to the restroom (fortunately, we were sitting right beside it).  Then, I realized what was happening.  I heard some volatile sounds projecting from the men’s room.  This was wretched. 

It was like he was the Captain of Vom-Fest in there. 

He came out about 20 minutes later with a self-diagnosis of food poisoning and needed to go home.  Apparently, he’s never tried sushi before and it didn’t sit well with him.    

Needless to say, it was too awkward to have a second date.   

^^^^^HUBBA, HUBBA^^^^^
Oh, sorry!  Bit of a distraction he is…  OK, enough day dreaming.  Let’s be real…  Guys like this don’t exist in real life. There is no such thing as the “perfect guy” but this should not be news to anyone.  There is, however, someone who is “perfect” for you!   Finding the “perfect guy” is a lot like Recruiting.  You have your job description (or your Checklist) and you want to find someone who has everything, or close to everything, on there.  So you have your “must haves” or what your significant other must have in order to be a legitimate candidate. 
Example:
Must be funny and have a great sense of humor.  When we’re old, I want to still belly laugh with him.
Must be mature and have a high level of emotional intelligence
A manly-man.  Someone who has a passion for life and can (and does) do things like changing a tire, or taking out the trash. 
A partner in crime.  I want my other half to be just that- an equal counterpart.
Then you have your “nice to haves.”  These are things that, if all the stars lined up perfectly, he would have. 
Maybe he’s a great singer or he’s incredibly athletic or he is a wine connoisseur.  Whatever!  These are just bonuses!
And lastly, and probably most importantly, you have your “Dealbreakers.”  These are your non-negotiables.  No matter how much swag this guy has, if he possesses any of your “Dealbreaker” qualities, he’s not a fit for you.  Move on.
Things like this could be:
Cigarette smoker (seriously, why do people still smoke cigarettes?!)
If he has kids already
Religion/ Ethnicity could be a dealbreaker for some
Those are my tips on how to find a great guy!  Feel free to comment about some qualities that would be on your list!  I want to hear some good ones!

^^^^^HUBBA, HUBBA^^^^^

Oh, sorry!  Bit of a distraction he is…  OK, enough day dreaming.  Let’s be real…  Guys like this don’t exist in real life. There is no such thing as the “perfect guy” but this should not be news to anyone.  There is, however, someone who is “perfect” for you!   Finding the “perfect guy” is a lot like Recruiting.  You have your job description (or your Checklist) and you want to find someone who has everything, or close to everything, on there.  So you have your “must haves” or what your significant other must have in order to be a legitimate candidate. 

Example:

  • Must be funny and have a great sense of humor.  When we’re old, I want to still belly laugh with him.
  • Must be mature and have a high level of emotional intelligence
  • A manly-man.  Someone who has a passion for life and can (and does) do things like changing a tire, or taking out the trash. 
  • A partner in crime.  I want my other half to be just that- an equal counterpart.

Then you have your “nice to haves.”  These are things that, if all the stars lined up perfectly, he would have. 

Maybe he’s a great singer or he’s incredibly athletic or he is a wine connoisseur.  Whatever!  These are just bonuses!

And lastly, and probably most importantly, you have your “Dealbreakers.”  These are your non-negotiables.  No matter how much swag this guy has, if he possesses any of your “Dealbreaker” qualities, he’s not a fit for you.  Move on.

Things like this could be:

  • Cigarette smoker (seriously, why do people still smoke cigarettes?!)
  • If he has kids already
  • Religion/ Ethnicity could be a dealbreaker for some

Those are my tips on how to find a great guy!  Feel free to comment about some qualities that would be on your list!  I want to hear some good ones!

Welcome to the greatest blog of all time!  So… I’ve decided to start a blog to document this wild journey of the single life.  Mostly because when I see a friend, family member, or co-worker, the first thing out of their mouth is usually, “So how did your date go?” or “Who are you dating now?” or something along those lines.  Aright!  I get it.  I’m suppose to have a boyfriend or husband, or whatever by now.  I mean, isn’t that the norm these days?  That’s what Facebook tells me anyway… my entire news feed is filled with “I SAID YES!”  or “Look at the cute thing my baby did today”. 

But, let’s face it, being single has it’s advantages too.  Most of the advantages include interesting conversation at the water cooler.  But, at least this way, you too can live vicariously through me and enjoy my quest sorting through a bunch of frogs. 

However, there is ONE catch!  This will be completely anonymous.  You won’t know who I am or who the lucky “date-ees” are.  However, I will give you my personal guarantee that all of the entries will be true stories filled with lots of awkward conversation and, inevitably, a few bad dates.